Two Minutes…

Have you waited for five minutes to travel two minutes? Sure you have! For an elevator. The first thing you do is to look whether “the button” is pressed. I’ve seen some fools waiting for the elevator only to realize that it wasn’t pressed, when someone else arrives and does it for him.

First you wait for the elevator to come and pick you up from the ground floor. After several minutes of staring at the display for the floor number, when you get bored and look at people around you and look back at the display, you find that the elevator is still on the topmost floor. Indignant, you’ll find some people constantly pressing the button in a desperate attempt to bring it down to them faster.

Finally when the much-awaited machine does land, you’ll see lots of people already gathered around you. Nothing wrong with that… but they don’t maintain a queue in this country. So you wait longer while others shove you out of your way into the ‘lift’. And all the waiting goes in vain, unless there’s another ‘lift’ to pick you up.

So when your elevator comes in and there are people getting out of it, there will almost always be people who will block their way and delay the process. When you finally make your way and look at the glowing buttons, you might find your destination floor button already pressed, you might need to press it yourself or in a crowded elevator, you might have to ask someone else to press it for you. (The lift-man is an endangered species these days)

Just when the sliding door is about to close, there comes a bag in between- and the door reopens. All the inmates get irritated unless the bag belongs to a beautiful lady! If you’re unlucky, you might find an old man (or a woe-man). You might find a lean person trying to get in but the elevator refuses to move, signaling “overweight” and the lean man has to leave, cursing himself and wanting to visit the gym more often. When the elevator finally begins its upward journey, you’re slightly relieved. But if you are in a hurry, you’ll find one person getting down at every floor lower than yours. You will want to kill the obese lady getting down on the 1^st floor!

The journey can be exciting only if you have “interesting” people around or if you have the eyes to see them. The first few minutes- you spend evaluating the attire of your co-passengers. Some people always manage to get mobile network inside an elevator- I never do! They keep calling their beloved ones, sending and receiving SMSes from them. You will possibly find some people talking amongst themselves like they’ve met after several years- while others stare at them or smile imperceptibly at their PJs. If you manage to end up standing beside a lady, your olfactory system will be filled by aroma(?) from excessive make-up. Meanwhile, if you’re blocking the way of the people trying to get out of the lift from behind you, you’ll be flooded with “Excuse Me” requests from gentlemen and ladies, and pushes and shoves from the crude ones. But tell you what- both are equally irritating, if you’re in a hurry! And finally, you end up doing the same when it’s your turn to get out of the closed room. Once you’re outside, the first thing you enjoy is fresh air which you unknowingly craved for during an eventful 120-second sojourn.