It’s
extremely odd that I should be writing about this now, for this could indeed be
demotivating for me in the first place. In fact, at this mature hour, I should
be focusing on something very important; something most people believe is “life-changing”:
the CAT examination, which in my case is due in two days. Like all serious rats
in this marathon race, I am concerned about my performance in this test. All
rats do fear the CAT. But why am I wasting my time writing this (more so when I
know that I have not more than 5-10 regular readers of my blog), instead of
taking another of those numerous “mock-tests”? Probably because this is where I
find my true calling.
My
eyes have been irritating relentlessly, a result of incessant computer-based mock-tests
and other stuff for which I have been staring at the computer screen for hours
together, without taking a break, while keeping an eye on the timer and trying
to figure out the correct “choice” among probable answers instead of attempting
to “solve” them. One of the several life-altering experiences that one goes
through as one prepares for the big leap, I guess. CAT aspirants will know what
I am talking about. A splash of water and get back to the next question! They
say- “Sky is the limit” and the only strip of sky I see now is through my
window, dark and clouded by affluent Noida constructions.
Besides,
there’s a logjam. Like the ones you frequently get to see during the Parliament
sessions- the ones that bring them to a screeching halt. But, this one’s inside
my head. One part is unwilling to listen to another. I don’t know what those parts
of the brain are called (the marks I earned in Biology in school bears
testimony to the fact that I am not expected to know about this). But, I know
one thing for sure that these parts are protesting: revolting against the “unnatural”
exercises they’ve been asked to perform. May be they are planning to bring down
the dictator in me. I wish them success!
One
thing about when you’re racing against time is that you cannot “think” to best
of your abilities. Probably the pattern of the examination is so designed as to
find to-be-managers who would be capable of making decisions and solving
problems at hand really fast. I, however, doubt that those decisions made over
fast food might not necessarily the best.
So, during CAT, when I read a very thought-provoking comprehension passage, I will
be asked to keep my brain in the bag, along with my mobile-phone. For the use
of brain would be limited to finding coherence between the questions and the “lines”
in the passage. Those “lines” will never become food for my brain. (And if I
try that, I am doomed!) If I find the questions “tricky”, I might have to skip
a passage altogether. (I deeply empathize with the authors whose passages are
used in a test where the students find no time to appreciate their creation!) I
will have no time to indulge in a logical chain of conclusions beyond what is
asked for in the paper, no time to contradict the author and no space for
freedom of expression (I cannot laugh out loud if I find a piece amusing, for
the guy beside me will be upset and the staff will throw me out of the hall).
So, I’ll silently say to myself: LOL (i.e.
without the exclamation sign).
So
much is at stake over one test. Months of dedicated toil will mean nothing to
the world if you get a stomach infection or a common cold on that day. No one
would care if you reached the examination center late because your car broke
down or if you met with an accident. Not that I want any of these to happen to
anyone else or myself, I cannot rule the myriad possibilities out, given our limited
control over the state of affairs around us at any point in time. So, if no one
cares, why should I? “Sit back and relax”-
that’s what I’ve told myself, for it’s more important for the people around you
to know what you are capable of than one examination full of uncertainties decide
it. Yes, it can yield me a prized seat in one of the IIMs, a handsome paycheck thereafter
and a luxury undreamt of. At the same time, I don’t want to miss out on the
little things that make me who I am, even if I don’t get there. You can say
that I chose the ‘wrong’ examination. But, my friend, no examination is ‘right’
for me. So, once again, “Sit back and
relax”.
